Well, I haven’t written lately because of… well, because of rather time-consuming “activities” that my concerned parents have been suggesting me and making me go through. I just kind of wanted to continue my story or I guess start it because I really want to go back to that time when I was happy and I was in love with life: I want to feel love and emotion again and if this blog is what is going to get my to do that then I better start writing. 🙂
So, I said that it all started with the beginning of my school year. I was a heap of panic-stricken emotions, and I was constantly glancing around me, for what I’m not sure. I was a mess and looking back at it now, it feels so meaningless and stupid that I felt so nervous and hopeful at the same time. I walked in that classroom looking like a wet sheep and worse yet, no one noticed because they all looked the same. I glanced around with that panicky demeanor and I spotted my name on a desk up-front. I could feel gratitude washing over me because frankly, I ‘m just that kind of girl that loves to sit in front ( and no, this does not automatically make me a snobby straight-A student, although my notes aren’t half that bad ;).) That day, I was feeling compressed quite literally because out of the many options my school uniform offered me, I had to choose the pants, IN AUGUST!
Anyway, after having taken my seat, I finally found the littlest bit of courage to look around the room and observe. But, even then, I confined the area of search to my left and right, but thank god that to my right, a girl stood, or rather sat looking nervous and looking as crazy as I must have looked that day. I observed her desk’s components and I soon found out that we had the same pencil, that same shoes (the selection was rather minimal), and she was just someone that I thought I could be myself with. I immediately swarmed to her and we befriended each other pretty quickly. Looking back at it now I wonder what would have happened if she hadn’t been sitting next to me, if I had spotted someone else that day and befriended them instead of her. Would my life be different, would I cherish the people that I love, as much? Would I be happy now, or would I be already lost in the endless void that threatens to engulf me now?
More later, Viki